This blog is not at all what I intended. Rather than being a source of tips and help, this has become an apology blog. Every time I post it’s like a new depth of “oops” that I didn’t even know was possible. And while I’m confronting my failures publicly, I’m not really being very productive.

Sometimes I set goals for this blog (blogging weekly, the writing challenge, etc.) and it’s like every time I do that I set myself up for failure. Being held accountable by an audience makes me feel like I’m not holding myself accountable. I lose my own personal, intrinsic motivation to do things because I’m not doing them for me anymore, I’m doing them for someone else. I’m sure there’s something complex and psychological going on there, but the bottom line is, announcing goals doesn’t work for me.

So what is the point of this blog? Well, I don’t know anymore. Writing tips no one asked for or writing prompts no one responds to, frankly, bores me. And clearly, I lose motivation as soon as I announce one of my goals. Don’t get me wrong, if I received questions or requests for things to post, I’d be more than willing to do what was asked. I love helping people out and doing things for other people. Any questions would be welcome. I just don’t like taking things that I do for myself, goals that I personally want to achieve, and making them things that I have to do in order to seem reliable to an audience. I feel like obligation takes the fun out of things.

Obviously, this is something that I have to work on, and I’m going to. Just not here. Here, I think I’m just going to see what happens. I want to leave it open for myself, allow room for surprises instead of structure. Maybe that means I won’t post for months at a time again. Maybe this new goal of no structure will spook me back into having structure. Who knows? I sure don’t. And that’s the point!

I’m still discovering myself and learning what works for me. This blog has been a huge part of that. I hope to maintain it in whatever fashion suits me. Thank you to everyone who has put up with my unpredictableness. I hope you will continue to put up with it still. And please, if you have any requests, feel free to comment them. I am also now taking writing related questions on my Tumblr asks so you’re all welcome to follow and bombard me there. Please bombard me. It gets rather lonely in the ask box.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!